Monday, April 25, 2011

It Ain't Easy

I read this morning in Psalm 90, where Moses said, "Even the best years are filled with pain and trouble." I read that and I began to think about my life. The last few weeks have been pretty tough around here.

I haven't blogged in a while. I've planned to, but haven't felt like it. Three weeks ago, Karen and I took Jude over to Shreveport so he could have surgery on his thumb. (It wouldn't straighten out - the surgery went well and his thumb is normal.) While we were there, I got a call saying that Larry Yeagle, one of the great men in our church, was killed while riding his bicycle north of Ruston. That news hit me and Karen pretty hard. We were standing in Target, Jude in the buggy, when we got the news. I hung up the phone and told Karen. Jude looked at us and said, "Daddy and mommy are sad." We were.

Larry had been working on a project with me, building a cart for I.A. Lewis Elementary School. His son told me that Larry had been working on the cart that afternoon just before he went on his bike ride. This is the most a death has ever affected me. It sucks.

That's tragedy. The rest of what I type here is inconvenience. It seems like for the past month and a half, some member of my family has been sick with something. Owen can't sleep through the night, so Karen feels like a zombie most of the time. The flowers I planted last month are dead. And last night the torsion spring on my garage door snapped in two so I can't get my scooter out. None of these things are that big a deal, but taken together they have really frustrated me. I mean, my flowers died!

And then I read what Moses said. "Even our best years are filled with pain and trouble." What do I expect out of this life? What our souls long for is "rest on every side." And I think that's what I keep waiting on. But it ain't gonna happen here - not until Jesus comes back and makes everything right. Something will always be broken; someone will always be sick; bills will always be due; weeds will always sprout up.

So I've got a choice to make. Either I can keep being frustrated that something isn't right, or I can learn to be a person who focuses on what is right. Spiritual maturity is not pessimism. It's peace, joy, and thankfulness no matter the circumstances. And I've got to believe these are some of the best years of my life. And even though I'll have trouble, I'll also have hope. Because Jesus has promised me that one day I'll have a life without junk. But it ain't this one.